Vendastrophic

Two nights a week I take a class at the local community college just to give myself absolutely no time to myself and to keep my brain "sharp". A few weeks into this most recent semester I was waiting for a ride home and decided to go exploring. I found myself in the "Activities" wing (which, I just learned today is where all the Exercise Science courses are held). In the Activities wing down a rather deserted hallway where even cell phone communication doesn't exist, is a vending machine. But not just ANY vending machine, a vending machine selling all manner of healthy, organic, mostly good snacks and drinks. This made me excited. It also made me sad that the one healthy organic snacks machine was hidden in a deserted hallway in a wing of the building that most people don't know exists.

For the whole semester, every time I have a few spare dollars and some time, I tend to head down there and buy myself some Blue Sky Organic soda or Izze or veggie chips. Today was one of those days. Turns out..........it wasn't a good day for it.

I just had possibly the greatest vending machine catastrophe in the history of the world.

I have no pictures because I pretty much hightailed it out of there ASAP after the events unfolded.

The saga went like this:
-I put in a dollar bill and selected some veggie chips from the top row. The bag dispensed and then got stuck in-between the rows and the plastic door. I was about to get angry when a second bag automatically dispensed behind it. This second bag then knocked the first bag down. Just as I thought I was about to get a two-fer, the second bag got stuck. As far as I know it's still there, since it was the last bag in the row. Fine. I payed for one, I got one. No harm, no foul.
-I put in another dollar bill to get myself a Blue Sky Organic Root Beer. I planned on getting one for me and one for my delightful chauffeur as a reward. I only had 3 dollar bills. This is important. I selected the correct number for the can of root beer. It dispensed. And hit the bottom of the vending machine, popped a hole in the side, and began fizzing and spraying all over the inside of the vending machine. I panicked and left it in there, but only AFTER opening the vending door and getting sprayed in the arm/chest with the shrapnel. I quickly closed the door and tried to get my second can, but it wouldn't dispense without me removing the first can....which was still spraying organic root beer foam all over the place...me, floor, vending machine, etc.
-I removed the can, held it mostly away from myself, and proceeded down the hallway to the recycling bin...spraying root beer all the way. I then purchased my second can without incident, retrieved it from the machine, and GTFO ASAP.